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This Can't be Life [entries|friends|calendar]

[ website | My Website ]
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Living for me [05 Sep 2004|09:12pm]
[ mood | accomplished ]

We'll I havent updated in a min so I'll get to the point. Me and T have been goin at it, and we're tryin to figure out what we're gonna do. I have be makin a lot of changes in my life so I havent really had time to come on here and respond to journals or even update my own. I hope you guys wont be mad at me cause I'm gonna be on a Short Hiatus I'll check back ever so often but believe me it wont be a daily thing. TTFN. Be good babies!!

6 s | Got Wisdom?

New Screen Name [26 Aug 2004|06:13pm]
[ mood | hyper ]

I have been gettin all kinds of sexual attention with the name juicydipp. I need your input on a new screen name somethin cute, girly, but not nasty.

Oh, before I forget T and I are having a serious talk lat er on tonight. I'll let you know how it goes.

3 s | Got Wisdom?

Semi Friends only [23 Aug 2004|08:48pm]
[ mood | amused ]

From now on my journal will be semi friends only. I realized I am letting some really personal stuff out and I wanna know whos reading about my so-called life.
If you want to be added, comment, add me, and I'll add u back.
Simple right??

Note: My journals contain profanity, sexual situations, and my view on life if you cant deal with it. Dont comment!

4 s | Got Wisdom?

TGIF [20 Aug 2004|10:43am]
[ mood | aggravated ]

Part 1 8:17am
I feel better today than a few days ago. I have a hair appointment at 11 I'll post pics later. Tarik aka Hovi left.=< But he'll be back on Monday.=> I am so in love with this man, I breathe him and become high. We've been off and on for 4 going on 5 yrs right now we're in one of our off periods but lately we've been getting real close. Bakari my little summer fling is on his way back to Atlanta for school. We spent last night together is was so cute he held my hand threw the movie AVP (Alien vs. Predator). We went to a quiet spot in the hills after and talked then he gave me a kiss on my forehead then my lips, that was even cuter. Then we dry humped for about an hour. I don't think I've done that since my early childhood. He is like a girlfriend with a dick. I can tell him about Tarik, my cycle, problems at home, my so-called friends, and anything else thats on my mind. A man thats listens, I am so blessed that he was in my life even if it was for a short period of time. Mu-ah Kari can't wait to see you in December. We'll thats all for now I'll update later on today.

Part 2 10:43pm
I just got off the phone with Tarik. When he first called me I was happy that he thought about me while he was in Vegas, but now that our little convo is over I wish that I'd never answered the phone. I love him but I think it might be time for us to really part ways. I'm tired of going back and forth with him, the love/hate relationship is taking its toll on my mental. He doesn't deserve me, I've treated him like a king and he treats me like shit. Sometimes I think he's ashamed of what we've been to each other. Introducing me to his friends as "a friend." I didn't know that friends fuck each other. I am so pissed off right now. I gotta do what I gotta do for me. Fuck him, I love him and I've done all that I can do. I think I've tried to make this work for so long because of comfort. I need to learn how to be by myself and learn that it's ok not to have a man. What's a girl to do???

These lyrics keep playin in my mind.

How many times does it take to learn just one thing,
'cause I keep ending up here
And I'm not a scientist so I just keep on praying that I won't
keep getting the same results each day
I said that I can't be with you
But when you turn away I pull back your hands to stay
(your hands to stay)
So many days turn to years
that brought us here
and we (shied) through time without too many tears
But we still made decisions creating divisions
So many contradictions,
why didn't we listen?

3 s | Got Wisdom?

Something has come over me [18 Aug 2004|09:06pm]
[ mood | depressed ]

Something is wrong with me, I can't sleep ,and I hardly eat. When I do sleep I wake up in cold sweats and I feel like the world is closing in on me. All day I sit in my room in the dark listening to Mary J. as I cry my eyes out. I haven't answered my phone in 2 days I have over 20 messages and countless text. I think I'm depressed!

6 s | Got Wisdom?

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